I am at a place in my life that I haven’t ever been before, I am CONTENT. When I look in the mirror and see those wonderful stretch marks, I smile and think it could be worse. When I look around at my apartment and the disarray of each room I again think, it could be worse.
When I am standing in the check out line at Wal-Mart and hear Swayzee scream, “Mom I have to pee NOW!” I politely ask the lady behind me to watch my groceries, grab Michael out of the stroller and we RUN to the bathroom. This is when Swayzee informs me she is old enough to go all by herself and I have to wait outside of the restroom until she is finished. Not wanting anything bad to happen to her (I suffer from a bit of paranoia) I count to 10 then yell in the bathroom, “Are you ok, babe” and she yells right back, “Mom, I am FINE” in that wonderful, almost 5 year old tone. She finishes all by her self and we run back to our line, thank the now impatient lady behind us and finish checking out. As we are walking back to our car, I think to my self, “well, that defiantly could have been worse.”
Even when I am at the gym, in one of the many classes I try to attend, sucking in air just so I don’t pass out and watching these young, firm ladies jump up and down and nothing moves and they aren’t out of breath and they look great when the class is over. I think to myself, “I made it today, and it really could have been worse!”
I have finally realized that life is what I make of it. It’s not what I have or don’t have, it’s not what my friends and neighbors have or don’t have. If I choose to be happy, I will be. No one can make me feel anything I don’t want to. My husband, wise and enlightened as he is, often tells me, “Kinz, you choose to let it affect you, one way or another.” He is right and I am content. I will keep trying to better myself but in the mean time I am going to love who I am and what I have become. To often we as women put ourselves down and feel like we don’t measure up. Well enough is enough. We are amazing! To all of you who at one time or another feel like you don’t measure up, I hope you take time to realize just how amazing you are and what a difference you have made in my life. Thank you!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Content
Posted by The Arnell's at 10:50 AM
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8 comments:
I love the Walmart story and I love all the new posts...keep it up!
Kinzie - I know. It's been a long time. I found your blog from Monica Merrill's blog. You look fabulous and your kids are adorable. Wow! It's amazing how time marches on. This post was incredible! This is definitely the perspective we all need to have and maintain. Thanks for sharing this.
Ditto that girlfriend. It's easy to let life get the best of you at times. And it's great when we can reach that perspective. I find holding on to it the difficult part. I've come to it many times it's making it last the part I struggle with. Thanks friend.
wow...you make me cry. That was beautiful! Amen Sister is all I can say! Love you.
Thank you Kenzie! I needed that. I have really been struggling with this for quite some time. I hope I can find the peace and acceptance as well. Love ya
I loved this! I will try and do what you're doing and just accept everything for what it is. Your kids are so cute and it's so good to see pics of them and you. Talk to you soon
Andrea (Zwick) Fredric
I am so glad you found me. Wahoo!! I will miss you at the gym. Come in when you get a chance and are down here. I don't know how many times we have been in the store to hear the same thing. Of course it is when you are stuck in line. There are a couple of people I wiould like to send the part of "you decide to be happy" Your kids are so cute. I can't wait to see more.
I still love you though I haven't read your blog in ages. We need another talk at the cabin in your favorite place, wind blown hair in all. you inspire me. i guess its your turn. i've inspired you long enough. lol
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