Friday, May 22, 2009


I am at a place in my life that I haven’t ever been before, I am CONTENT. When I look in the mirror and see those wonderful stretch marks, I smile and think it could be worse. When I look around at my apartment and the disarray of each room I again think, it could be worse.
When I am standing in the check out line at Wal-Mart and hear Swayzee scream, “Mom I have to pee NOW!” I politely ask the lady behind me to watch my groceries, grab Michael out of the stroller and we RUN to the bathroom. This is when Swayzee informs me she is old enough to go all by herself and I have to wait outside of the restroom until she is finished. Not wanting anything bad to happen to her (I suffer from a bit of paranoia) I count to 10 then yell in the bathroom, “Are you ok, babe” and she yells right back, “Mom, I am FINE” in that wonderful, almost 5 year old tone. She finishes all by her self and we run back to our line, thank the now impatient lady behind us and finish checking out. As we are walking back to our car, I think to my self, “well, that defiantly could have been worse.”
Even when I am at the gym, in one of the many classes I try to attend, sucking in air just so I don’t pass out and watching these young, firm ladies jump up and down and nothing moves and they aren’t out of breath and they look great when the class is over. I think to myself, “I made it today, and it really could have been worse!”
I have finally realized that life is what I make of it. It’s not what I have or don’t have, it’s not what my friends and neighbors have or don’t have. If I choose to be happy, I will be. No one can make me feel anything I don’t want to. My husband, wise and enlightened as he is, often tells me, “Kinz, you choose to let it affect you, one way or another.” He is right and I am content. I will keep trying to better myself but in the mean time I am going to love who I am and what I have become. To often we as women put ourselves down and feel like we don’t measure up. Well enough is enough. We are amazing! To all of you who at one time or another feel like you don’t measure up, I hope you take time to realize just how amazing you are and what a difference you have made in my life. Thank you!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

The TENT of wonders

So Swayz had a great idea yesterday, she wanted to build a tent. We started out in the front room but after Michael ran and tore everything down we decided to move our tent into Swayzee's room. It didn't take us long before we had our masterpiece complete. There are several different rooms and a few windows in our tent. We played all day in there and Swayz ended up sleeping in there too.
Michael was sad because he couldn't be in there. He stayed out in the hall and banged on the door. We felt bad so we let him in and within seconds he had ruined the left wing of the tent :) We had to kick him back out. The tent is still up and Swayz thinks she can keep it up until she turns 5. There's no way that will happen but I haven't told her that yet.